An EU official has defended the pay-and-perks packages for eurocrats, saying the premium rates were justified to compensate for the "shower of sub-simian numpties I have to work with."

"My head of unit is a 23 year old whose work experience amounts to a six-month internship with the Lithuanian ministry for stationery," the official told BM.

"And I had a cabinet official in my office the other day who struggled with the fundamental workings of a door handle."

"Don't get me wrong, these guys are in the minority. But the rest of us really deserve the danger-money for having to put up with their drivel on a daily basis."

Some Brussels officials are to strike today over budget plans that could rein in payrises and other benefits. But others are indicating they could happily live with a salary more in line with those of national civil servants and the cost and quality of life in Brussels, if they could just get a modicum of job satisfaction.

The generous eurocrat pay includes a top-up for having to learn and speak a language not used in any of the EU's member states.

"I'd gladly give you my first-born's school fees not to ever have to 'benchmark' anything ever again," the EU official told BM.

"And d'ye know what, I'll pay full whack for coffee in the canteen and give my expat allowance to charity if it meant fewer pointless meetings with some of these along-for-the-ride gravy-train passengers who make a point of disagreeing in front of colleagues in order to make it seem as though they've read the dossier and now by some miracle have developed an informed opinion."

"See? I've now burst another 12 capillaries and lost the feeling in my left leg. I NEED this money."



  1. Anonymous // 4:39 PM  

    Now ask the same question to a post-reform recrutee who has to put up with these folks who have been around forever and who think of themselves as indispensable and a Gods-gift to civilization. For half the salary or more, in many cases. As a bachelor, I'd struggle to pay my mortgage and the shrink without the expat allowance. There are classes of officials, depending on when they joined and the pay conditions they're on. Not to mention contract agents. And the way the reform is going, it will only emphasize this division unless the cuts are appliade in a progressive way.