Tips for EU interns

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 | 5 comments »

Judging by the heavy air of naivete and optimism at Place Luxembourg last Thursday, and a general pertitude about the place, BM infers that a new batch of interns may have recently arrived in Brussels, joining the juvenile throngs that arrived in September last year.

With that in mind, here are some tips to see you through your internship, be it in an EU institution, or the European Association for Peanut Coatings Manufacturers.

These were harvested off of that-there Twitter on a quiet Friday after starting a #stagiairetips hashtag.


  • Walking decisively with some paper several times a day is a suitable alternative to work.
  • Monday is a perfectly respectable day to go drinking.
  • Never say you don't get an acronym; just say you're tired of people using them
  • Locals love to hear of possible improvements they could make to their country. Point out shortcomings at every opportunity.
  • Your folks and friends back home have No. Idea. what you do. Explaining is futile. Get used to it.
  • An assistantship at the European Parliament also makes a suitable alternative to work. Unless you're unattractive.
  • There is no shame at all in having the email address temp_stage9897b@cor.europa.eu
  • Go for coffee in a large group to protect yourselves from those who resent you for going for coffee in a large group
  • Never speak to journalists. There is absolutely nothing you know or have access to that could be of interest to them.
  • When sending a cut-and-paste job application, write the recipient's name in a different font. It makes them feel special.
  • Conferences and other events (preferably large) make up well for an empty fridge.
  • Exki makes an unsatisfying and expensive alternative to lunch
  • "Forget" to take off your Commission badge on the Metro. People will assume "stagiaire" means a shit-hot Barrosso confidant.
  • Being a stagiaire is excellent experience for being a stagiaire again. Which may be your next job
  • Try and ration your alcohol intake. Limit your drinking to two occasions: when it's raining, and when it's not.
  • Don't fret if you sleep with someone you shouldn't. It's not as if you're likely to bump into them again.
  • The ability to organise a party is EXACTLY the kind of thing an employer is looking for on a CV
  • Play your cards right, and in another fifteen years you could be head of unit for pelagic stocks in the North Sea.


Thanks to:

@Pidge
@CraigWinneker
@GoodallGiles
@jamesfraney
@TheEurobubble

and others for contributions. 

BM

5 comments

  1. Anonymous // 3:12 PM  

    Jesus, bitter much?

  2. Berlaymonster // 3:32 PM  

    @anonymous - No no. Rules to live by over a long Brussels career in fact. Bisous, BM (former stagiaire and now Head of Unit for Pelagic Stocks North Sea)

  3. Anonymous // 3:51 PM  

    Why no mention of the Robert Schuman and Blue Book titles on business cards for stagiaire? They are titles, after all, right? Right!?!

  4. Chris // 3:32 PM  

    '"Forget" to take off your Commission badge on the Metro. People will assume "stagiaire" means a shit-hot Barrosso confidant.'

    Don't worry about how to spell 'Barroso'. Why spend time thinking of that when you could be signing up to the conference taking place in BOU05/27 on 'Sustainable Buzz Words, E-Literacy and Justified Innovation'

  5. Fank // 1:07 AM  

    hahaha someone who can't spell Barroso is giving advice.