As speculation already starts to mount as to who may feature in the next EU commission administration, it seems the British government is intent on putting forward a candidate to shatter the traditional eurocrat mould.

A UK official told the 'monster, "we're going all out here. We want to tick as many boxes as possible."

"A gay candidate is no longer the groovy choice - we need to go further."

"If we take the gay route, they've got to be positively camp" the source told BM.

"Otherwise, the PC choice of a chick for commissioner has to be the way forward."

Either way, the source added, hopefuls would benefit from being "of a beige complexion or darker, from a working class upbringing if possible, and maybe even a bit handicapped. But not too much, because that wouldn't look good on telly."

A knowledge of modern British street patois would be an advantage, and there is talk the successful candidate may even be drawn from the tiny disenfranchised and oppressed Europhile minority...

3 comments

  1. Doris // 2:32 PM  

    What about Roy Rogers, the greatest all purpose prat on earth. He out prats his old chum Fifi Mandlebum.

  2. Freudenshatz // 6:59 PM  

    Surely you don't mean Brown Hattersley??

  3. FredKnows // 9:38 PM  

    How much commission can they make for a months fiddling?