The Brussels community was reeling last week as reports confirmed that one of the press corps can not only speak coherently for more than a three minute 'package', but can also tackle words of more than two syllables at a time.

Sporting a hunch and a withered arm – not due to the excess beer at the midday briefing but rather a superfluous effort to appear deformed and evil – a noted British journalist revealed previously unfathomed levels of eloquence and, even more unbelievably, significant acting talent.

Speaking at half-time (surely the interval? Ed.) one Commission spokesperson expressed amazement. "He's always been a bit lippy, but mostly stuck to the one, two syllable words. Watching him stumble over the trickier ones such as 'competition' and 'comitology' has been awkward for all of us. We try to help him out now and again when we know what he's getting at, but who knew that in his spare time he was capable of this? We'll be letting him sit at the front of the press room in future."

Other members of the cast were less surprising in their ability to navigate the iambic pentameter. Another audience member, close to the play (second row in fact), noted that "trade lawyers and translators are expected to bridge the gap between the intelligible and unintelligible - albeit in opposite directions - but we were really impressed to see a journalist take on the task. It should be a lesson to all of them. Don't let your learning disabilities hold you back."


Shakespeare was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, though close associates have expressed concern that he might never write again.

1 comments

  1. Anonymous // 4:30 PM  

    I have noticed some consultants around the place who struggle with the acronyms created by DG ENVI and the cosmetology of comitology in the Cosmetics Directive.

    When are the auditions for the next production? We may not carry Equity cards, but I am sure we can give the press corps a run for its money.