EU lawmongers have approved draft plans for a Single European Swearword, in order to allow grievances to be aired in a harmonised fashion across the bloc's borders.

The 'euxpletive' eventually settled on is 'kuñardocz'.

It has been hailed by EU governments as "the ejaculation European citizens deserve."

But one experienced pottymouth called the new unified imprecation "unmitigated fucking bilge."

"It lacks plosive satisfaction, and any traditional link with scatological or sexual connotations. Nor even does it summon an invocation of a blasphemous nature."

"In short, it's shit."

Kuñardocz has been foreseen as pretty much a 'catch all' swearword for any occasion.

It can be used in isolation to describe someone as a 'kuñardocz' (a kind of 'twit' or 'wholesale brazen fuckstick').

In other contexts, users should place the word at the end of a sentence to express anger or frustration, such as:

"Why won't this door open, kuñardocz."

"Wo sind meine Brille, kuñardocz."

"Mais c'est quoi ce bordel, putain, J'ai essayé toutes sortes de crèmes et pommades de merde mais il ne se guérit toujours pas, kuñardocz."

The SES is to enter into force formally next March.


  1. edgar // 12:07 PM  

    I'd bet the Berlaymonster is French... I had doubts now I'm pretty sure.

  2. Daphne Wayne-Bough // 10:32 PM  

    My boyfriend is a kunardocz.

  3. Berlaymonster // 7:17 PM  


    Le 'Monstre est Européen avant tout.

  4. Anonymous // 11:21 AM  

    Is there the possibility of variation such as 'what the kunardocz are you doing? ' Or take your 'How could the kunardoczing kunardocz do this to me?'. I think there is a need for a more detailed lexiconography in this area. I suggest you apply for an EU grant as long as you're happy to cede copyright to the Commission after 6 months....

  5. Anonymous // 1:05 AM  

    that is why I love the EU;)) Now when we have a standardised swearword we can swear around the whole EU - everyone can understand us and no one feels offended! brilliant


    Fuck the anglosaxon swearword domination! Vive la kuniadocz;)

    ps. but how oh how should this be pronounced? :DDDD

  6. Anne // 3:36 PM  

    Where can I get the t-shirt?