The Cabinet Review, pt 4

Thursday, December 21, 2006 | 1 comments »

The 'Monster is gasping to the end of this week's guest column, the Cabinet fox-hunt from Simon van der Cowell. This is the penultimate chance to have your say and nominate the Cabinet employee you'd most like to take for a brisk shoot up the Khyber Pass ...

Olli Rehn

Calls them: Cabinet.
Includes: Even includes a stagiaire but no drivers.
Layout/Design: Not well spaced and too small photographs.

A dark group photo that is a bit too small, although we can see a group of young ladies edging their way out of the shot on the right instead of standing round the Commissioner. Olli is blocking our view of some enormous norks.

These photos are just too dark and small to be a good guide to hotness. Some are a bit odd, such as Maria's 'Bride of Frankenstein' look.

Top Totty: Ms Heather Grabbe.
Stud-U-Like: Mr Ferdy De Schepper.

Louis Michel

Calls them: My team.
Includes: Everyone but drivers.
Layout/Design: Mammoth photos but poorly laid out and the middle column is just confusing.

You just know that you can rely on Louis. We also welcome the appearance of the first fake redhead. A sign of the diversity here, including Pascale's apres-ski raunchiness, sultry Sindy and Helena's executive relief look.

Top Totty: Karin Gardes-Koutny - defines the term angelic. Also ran: Tanguy Stuckens.
Stud-U-Like: Koen Doens.

László Kovács

Calls them: Cabinet.
Includes: No drivers or stagiaires.
Layout/Design: Simple layout, clear design.

The first thing you see is a picture of Stephen Bill and the biggest shit-eating grin in the Commission. Why's that? Well just scroll down the page. There is lots of high quality totty here, even if the photos are too small. Hell, many of these should be downloadable as desktop wallpaper.

Top Totty: Ágnes Fekete keeps Bill looking happy so she very narrowly beats out Anabela Gago Filori and Maria Elena Scoppio.
Stud-U-Like: Gáspár Molnar the Prince William lookalike.

Neelie Kroes

Calls them: My Team.
Includes: Cabinet and spokesman only. No minions.
Layout/Design: Ok enough, but suffers from the fact that only the members and spokesperson have their photos.

The group photo is very dull, but shows us that there could be some totty in the office (is that a pair of jodhpurs on the right?) but only the top people are pictured on the page. A swinish trick.

Top Totty: Lorena Boix Alonso.
Stud-U-Like: Carlos Tenerino in a weak field.

Mariann Fischer Boel

Calls them: Cabinet.
Includes: Everyone, even stagiaires.
Layout/Design: Clear and functional.

Wicked bunch of pictures, slightly informal. Head of Cabinet has his orientated differently to all the others - what does that tell us? Quite a lot.

Top Totty: Stephanie Weiss' smile wins over the Elvish Henriette Johansen and the blonde and blue eyed Lene Naesager.
Stud-U-Like: Johan Reyniers.


  1. MKWM // 6:21 PM  

    The penultimate already? Oh, what a shame, I'm having so much fun here. But you'll come up with a new game, won't you? Meantime, I'm looking forward to Friday's last panel.

    O'Rehn's: And its "No, nay, never, no nay never no more, will I screw the crew's driver, no never, no more!" I'll have faith in Kristian from now on /// Frida, although Heather is extremely charming.

    O'Michel's: Karin (yep, both look like angels, with feathers and all) /// Domenico seems to be a very funny guy but there's something irresistible about Damien Levie and I don't mind at all about his lack of hair, he can shave his head for all I care. Honest, he is definitely at the top 5 today.

    O'Kovacs': I fully agree with Simon about the lasses but there's not a single stud in sight here. I guess le Petit Prince will have to do then, this is a fox-hunt after all, so we're still in the context.

    O'Kroes': Here again, I'm disappointed, no studs appear on site. I fear I will have to take a chance and have a blind date with Anthony Whelan. /// Aaah...Lo-re-naaaa!

    O'Boels': how do you pronounce that name, btw? Like balls perhaps, bulls maybe? Mmmmh, will it be Johan or Jean-Charles then? /// I'm sure Lene must have a nicer smile.